Dead Man's Book of Journey part I : Losing

CHAPTER I : A MERE BEGINNING

candle light in a silent night
pouring tears from wistful eyes

as my sweat turns red
I think of none but it's death
coming over me

my lord, the hands of creation and destruction
here I am.. whispering at an end
for the wind to listen, even if it would care not...

that there's just nothing left to keep you satisfied..

I'm blessed with life..
yet I tried to end it with a knife..
I walk your chances away..
I wasted your gifts, time, youth, love, joy..
all shattered before the moonlight

I lived as a shadow, crawling away from light..
clouding my mind with anger, hatred, greed, lust..
sins which pay the devil a mad feast..
got devoured by wicked thoughts, weaving a dream of unholy intentions..
then consumed, confined in the deepest abyss of the land he promised would set us free from you..

well, there was a time I tried to be a hero..
thought I'd save a lot..
only to find out that I'd end up becoming a scapegoat..
I make them happy, trading their tears with my joy..
so I cried a thousand years long to make them smile a mere second..

that's how friendship, trust, love has betrayed me..
and it's true that I was too weak to fight back..
that I gave up my heart to the one you dump..

I've fought the whole story my own..
still I feel the pride is just never enough..
though maybe I need some hands to hold..
yet I think to end this all so none would ever hurt..

I'd just let you decide..
whether this gonna be the real end or just another test..
to realize that you've been fair to me..
why not lending me a hand this time??
so I'd pass through like you always expected..

the scythe skipped me, I suppose..
then another dawn is coming..

the fight shall begin again
yet the end is always bitter for the likes of me
no matter how much've I tried..
because that's what you promised..
to me, to us, to the rest of the world..